So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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