not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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