My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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