Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
BRING THE BAGELS
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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