You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
