my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
