Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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