she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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