So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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