She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I deserve this hangover.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
