This is not my ceiling
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
