hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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