We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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