she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
