Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
