Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
