no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize