I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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