I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
