You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize