Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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