my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
