I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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