Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
