An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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