so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
