You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
