I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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