see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize