haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
