just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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