I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
