I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
