Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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