so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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