Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
