have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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