Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want to be your penis for a week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
