Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
