"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
