i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
