Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
