true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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