I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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