My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
