..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
