Apparently you make a good broom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
