there was a trapeze. enough said
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
