No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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