Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
