home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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