I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
