i think my tv is drunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
