went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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