So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize