i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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