he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
