I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
